


Awake

by JesusCheese



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Blood, Brotherly Love, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Sleepwalking, Wen Jun Hui | Jun is a Sweetheart, Wen Jun Hui | Jun-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesusCheese/pseuds/JesusCheese
Summary: Jun had experienced it all too often- sleepwalking, night terrors, injuries, panic attacks- it was horrible. The worst part of it all? Jun’s mind dealt with stress by giving him nightmares and sleepwalking at the same time, meaning hell for his family and a horribly disorienting awakening for him. By the time he'd joined Seventeen, he thought that his episodes were a thing of the past.They weren't.
Relationships: Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 223





	Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoy this little project!

When Jun was young, he would often debate with himself. Which was worse- being partially asleep while awake or being partially awake while asleep?

Well, the answer wasn’t particularly hard- at least, for him it wasn’t. On one hand, you spend the day a bit tired, eyes slipping closed at inconvenient times.

But on the other...Jun had experienced it all too often- sleepwalking, night terrors, injuries, panic attacks, hallucinations- it was horrible. Being half-aware of your surroundings was torture. The worst part of it all? Jun’s mind dealt with stress by giving him nightmares and sleepwalking at the same time, meaning hell for his family and a horribly disorienting awakening for him.

At one point, he’d even gone on medicine, held over only by his pediatrician’s promise that, “it’ll get better, Junhui. You’ll outgrow this.” At the age of eight, he was averaging three episodes a week. By the time he was ten, maybe one every month. By the time he hit thirteen, they only came about when he was experiencing severe sleep deprivation or stress.

When he joined Pledis, they were so far removed from his mind that he’d mentioned it in a passing conversation with Seungkwan and never spoke of it again. It was a childhood condition, and Jun, at that point in time, was no longer a child.

He was no longer vulnerable.

Then, he joined Seventeen.

Oddly enough, he was more mentally fit before he was grouped with the other hopeful boys. Before, he was a trainee, working towards a goal that was so far away that he took everything one day at a time. Being put in a group put a timeline over his head and a weight on his shoulders. Being put in a group made him responsible for not only himself but sixteen other boys.

Then they got smaller.

And smaller.

And smaller.

And smaller.

They lost four members total, and each one broke his heart a little more than the last. He told himself that it was because of his personal connection with each of them, and sure- maybe it was. How could he not grow close with these energetic, passionate, funny boys? Deep down, though, he knew that it hurt because it made him face the reality: he could be next.

He worked harder than he did before, making up for every imperfection with extra practice. Vocal practice at four in the morning before group work at five, Korean lessons over his small lunch break and deep into the night, and a workout just before bed for his physique.

“It’s part of being an idol,” he whispered to himself every morning as he slipped out of the shared bedroom to put on his clothes without disturbing the others. “Harden up and get it done. This is how you debut. This is what winners do.”

Really, he should’ve seen the episode coming. If he had, maybe then he could’ve warned the rest of them or started going home just a couple hours early or meditating (he’d never been much good at that, in all truthfulness) to quell the pressuring thoughts in his head.

But the episodes had ended when he was thirteen. He had been a trainee for two years, sitting- god, teetering- on the line between trainee and idol. He was so, so close, and he’d yet to have an episode. It was 2015, and he was a 19 year old, full grown adult.

Why would he have any problems?

…

Dokyeom woke up with a grumble and a snort, harshly rubbing his eyes in the darkness of the bedroom and begging- pleading for his mind to go back to sleep. Once he was awake, there wasn’t usually much luck in reversing the process, but if he tried hard enough, if he willed his consciousness to-

“Joshua,” somebody groaned, muffled and far off.

Shit.

Angrily, Seokmin pushed his left foot into the warm lump behind him. The bunk beds were all pushed against one another in the bedroom- all six of them. A mattress on the floor held whichever unfortunate soul was last into the bedroom.

“Soon,” Dk thought. “Soon, we’ll debut and they’ll get us a dorm with at least two bedrooms and bathrooms.”

“Joshua! Where are you!” the slurred, distant, and garbled- accented?- call came once again. Dokyeom kicked Joshua again.

“Wake up,” he hissed. “Somebody’s looking for you, and they’ve already ruined my sleep. Don’t ruin it for the others.”

Joshua hummed, pulling the blanket up higher. “If I ignore him,” he whispered, not sounding tired at all. “He’ll stop.”

“It’s been six minutes, Joshua,” Jeonghan’s tired voice came from somewhere. “If you don’t see what he wants, I’ll hurt you.”

Joshua growled- actually growled- before getting up and carefully crawling over limbs and snaking through the bedframes. “I’ll tell him to ask for you next time,” he threatened Jeonghan.

Checking the time and seeing that it was already four thirty, Dk pushed himself out of bed and slipped on a jacket, waiting for Joshua to stretch properly before responding to the asshole in the kitchen. As much as he hated being tired, he did love early mornings with his brothers. It reminded him of his childhood when he would go to his mom’s bed and crawl under the covers while she read and-

“Joshua!”

A pillow hit Dokyeom in the back of the head. He scowled and threw it back, hitting a random member and hoping that it found the correct target. “Wrong person, asshole,” he hissed at whoever had attacked him.

Finally, Joshua pulled open the door and flipped on the hallway light. That was a bit weird; who was moaning and groaning in the dark at four thirty in the morning?

“What do you want?” Joshua called into the partially illuminated kitchen. “If you woke me up, you’d better have a damn good reason...hello?...I can’t help you if I can’t see you, idiot. What do you need?”

“Over here,” Dk yawned, pointing to a figure with his hands in the sink. “Jun-hyung?”

“Joshua,” he called again, much clearer now that it wasn’t muffled by the door. “Where are you?”

“I’m right here,” the eldest in the room responded, walking up and leaning on the counter. “What do you need, Jun?”

“Say something, please...just say something!”

That...was certainly cause for concern. “Jun?” Joshua asked, fear creeping in. He reached out and set a hand on his shoulder blade, eyes widening when Jun turned to look right back at him, expression mirroring one that you would find in a horror movie. His eyes were open but unseeing, lips slightly parted and hair splayed messily over his forehead.

“Is that- hyung, that’s blood!” Dk called when he saw the reflection of the hallway light on Jun’s wet hands. The sink was running, water pooling and turning pink. At the bottom, a knife that was used for the previous night’s dinner.

As quickly as he could, Dokyeom stopped the flow of water and pushed Joshua back when Jun’s bloody hand blindly swung through the air, nearly hitting him. “Jun-hyung, you’re blee-”

“Get off of him!” Jun roared, ripping Dk’s hand off of Joshua’s arm. “Joshua!”

“Stop!” Joshua called as Jun pushed Dk into the counter. He wrapped his arms around his midsection as Dk cried out, the handle of the drawer poking into his spine. “Jun, what in the hell are you doing?”

“Joshua!” Jun was screaming now, arms swinging. “Get off of him! Get off of me! Where is he!”

“What is he doing?” Dk asked as Joshua wrestled him to the ground. “Hyung, what’s happening?”

“Jun!”

Jun continued to struggle, face as expressionless as ever despite the cuts to his hands and the man on top of his chest. If the Chinese man kept fighting the way that he was, though, Joshua wasn’t sure that he’d stay on top for long.

“Is he sleepwalking?” Jeonghan asked, jogging up to them and helping his best friend keep Jun down. “Joshua! Is he sleepwalking?”

“I don’t know, but he’s- his hands are cut and he keeps-”

One of his hands got free and swung, catching Jeonghan in the jaw. Luckily he’d struck with an open fist, leaving stinging on his hyung’s skin but not a bruise. “He keeps doing that!” Joshua finished, grabbing his arm. “Jun, stop! We’re not going to hurt you!”

“Get off!” Jun roared, screaming something in Mandarin before pushing both of the elders off with a might heave. He scrambled up, running out of the room only to trip, his socked feet hindering his movements. He came down with a mighty thud, shoulder catching the table on the way down. “Joshua!” he cried out. “Let him go!”

The two pounced on him again and Dokyeom appeared with a cup of water, dumping it on Jun’s face. It got in his eyes, nose, and mouth, stopping his calls for freedom and his hyung. Unfortunately, it also caused him to choke, lungs working on overdrive to rid themselves of the unwelcome substance.

He trembled as Jeonghan and Joshua got him onto his side to cough it out, bloody hands coming up to wipe his face. “I- I-” he coughed some more, chest heaving.

“Hyungs? What’s happening?”

“Stay back,” Dokyeom warned Chan. “Go- uhm...get Minghao but tell the rest not to do anything, okay?”

Jun was rambling in a mix of Mandarin and Korean, none of it making much sense and all of it sounding just as terrified as the rest of them were. As much as the foereign members were proficient in the Korean language, they could probably all benefit from having another Chinese member there. Jun still wasn’t fully awake and not at all lucid.

“Gege?”

“Joshua!”

“No...it’s Minghao.”

“Speak to him in Chinese,” Dokyeom encouraged. “Tell him...uhh...Joshua’s okay. And ask him why the hell he’s doing this. Also tell him that my spine fuckin’ hurts, and-”

“Dokyeom,” Jeonghan interrupted with a warning stare, still holding Jun as he trembled.

Minghao didn’t ask for much more instruction or reason as he launched into reassurances. Jun’s tearful eyes met Joshua’s, thankfully calming him substantially. Over the course of the few minutes it took, Jeonghan had retrieved a wet rag and the first aid kit to bandage Jun’s wounds.

“You’ve got some cuts on your hands,” he spoke. “I’m going to clean them off, okay? Don’t go punching me again.”

“I- I don’t remember anything,” he sighed out, swallowing thickly. “I remember going to bed last night, and...and now- I- what happened?”

“You were yelling for me,” Joshua explained as Jeonghan applied cream to a particularly nasty cut on his thumb. “I came out here and you had the water running, hands all cut up from a knife in the bottom of the sink. Dk touched me and you freaked out- like, eyes open, brain gone. What the hell happened?”

“I thought it wouldn’t happen anymore,” Jun sighed, the breath broken and shaky even as Minghao rubbed his back. “I- I get nightmares.”

Dokyeom guffawed. “That was a nightmare?”

“I sleepwalk too...and I get night terrors, which is- just...a whole different monster.”

“You’ve never had one in all the time I’ve known you,” Joshua objected. “Are you sure it wasn’t like...a panic attack or something?”

“No, I- they happen when I don’t sleep enough or I’m under extreme stress. My last episode was when I was thirteen, so I don’t expect you to- to know what to do.”

“I’m willing to bet drowning you wasn’t the best bet,” Minghao grumbled, choosing his words carefully as he spoke.

“You weren’t here; it was fucking terrifying,” Dokyeom objected with a glare. “He wouldn’t wake up.”

“Normally it’s better if I don’t,” Jun admitted.

“Don’t they say not to wake a sleepwalker?” Jeonghan asked, applying the last bandage.

“Yes- thank you. It’s- I’m sorry, I woke you up, and- god, I probably hurt you guys. I just...I haven’t had an episode since I was a teenager. I didn’t think-” he ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it a bit. “I thought they were gone!”

“Have you been sleeping?” Jeognhan asked. “You’re always gone when we leave in the morning and come back after we’re all home. How much do you sleep?”

“Enough,” he replied quickly.

Seungcheol strolled in, arms folded. “Obviously not. We’re close to debut, and that’s stressful, but we can’t let it get the best of us- especially if you know that you’ve got a history of sleepwalking and nightmares. What were you even thinking?”

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“I’m not mad, Junhui,” he assured him, even pulling out his full name. “I just thought that you’d have better judgement. Everybody’s in the bedroom scared shitless- well, Jihoon’s asleep- but we’re all tired, and you need the sleep more than any of us.”

“Our practice is in half an hour.”

“And we don’t need the three hours of rehearsing a dance we’ve learned better than our own names.” He sighed, leader expression softening. “Is your hand okay?”

“It stings, but it’s alright.”

“None of them were deep enough for stitches,” Jeonghan added.

“And the rest of you? You’re all fine?”

“My tailbone hurts,” Dokyeom whined. Jun’s face fell and Joshua spoke up.

“Suck it up, wuss. You’re lucky Jun only sliced his fingers on that knife. If he’d grabbed it-”

“Wait, shit, you can do that?” Jeonghan interrupted. “LIke...you can hurt people?”

Jun grew pale. “I- maybe? I don’t want to...of course I wouldn’t want to, hyung! I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt anybody, I swear-”

“It’s alright,” Seungcheol reassured him, trying to prevent him from getting worked up even further. “We’ll put some basic child locks on the sharps drawer. You can’t figure those out while you’re asleep, right?”

“No?”

“And you’ll be getting more sleep,” Minghao added, leaving no room for argument.

“And next time we’ll just put you back to bed,” Joshua finished up. “You’re going to be fine, Jun. A little sleepwalking won’t kill us all, okay?” Jun nodded. “Right, let’s get cleaned up and back to bed because it’s the ass crack of dawn, and I’m dead on my feet. Jun?”

“Yeah?”

“Sleep with me.”

He nodded once more, smiling at the bit of relief he felt in his chest. It was as if Joshua knew that he had been aching to touch him, to feel his heartbeat and hear the small sleepy noises he made sometimes. The nightmare had been...gruesome, to say the least. Some reassurance that Joshua was happy, healthy, and tired as hell was a godsend.

If he was going to make his debut with his brothers, he needed to take better care of himself.

But just at that moment, there was only one person he was worried about taking care of.

“Thank you, hyung.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you've had a wonderful father's day. How did you guys celebrate? I had hamburgers with my family and watched a movie :)  
> Also, BIG shout out to the American kpop community and the kpop community in general for trolling Trump's campaign rally. Made me laugh.  
> Have a great day and thank you again!
> 
> Twitter: @kindofjustdoin1


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